ROW80: Success, continued – mostly

I pulled one of my old tricks this week, and forgot that I had an all-afternoon writing workshop on Saturday. With an hour drive time each way, that took up most of my day. Normally, I spend a lot of Saturdays finishing up my goals. But in spite of that lack of planning on my part, I didn’t do too badly!

  • Complete web design/copywriting side job I took on last month – Done! (at about 11pm last night 🙂 )
  • Come up with 5 plot cards for short story – Yes! It all coalesced on Thursday evening, and I got my plotting done! Now the hard part comes. 🙂 
  • Complete Get It Together Chapter 5 – 7 exercises – I got most of 5 and 6 done. Better than none!
  • Three interval workouts and two shorter workouts – Done!
  • Track exercise & consumption 5 days – Nope. I just can’t get back into this habit, and I need to, because tracking it helps me not snack as much.

But overall, I’m happy with my progress. So here’s what’s on deck for this week:

  • Two scenes on short story – I’m very rusty on writing new material, so this could be a stretch. Ideally, I could get the whole thing written, but I don’t want to count on it. Getting started will also take care of Lesson 9 on How to Think Sideways.
  • Complete Get It Together Chapter 5 – 8 exercises – Adding one more to keep with my two chapters/week schedule.
  • Three interval workouts and two shorter workouts
  • Track exercise & consumption 5 days
  • BONUS: Web design/copywriting side job – it’s waiting for the client’s review right now. If he gets back to me on time, I’d like to get the changes made and get it hosted. But that’s dependent on him.
  • BONUS: Additional writing on short story

Here are my goals for the quarter overall:

  • Work through Lesson 18 of How to Think Sideways Waiting to jump back into this when I get started writing the short story.
  • Release Times Two (combined ebook of Time’s Enemy and Time’s Fugitive) – waiting until I get web design project done
  • Complete Saturn Society short story for holiday anthology – working on it!
  • Complete Get It Together exercises and data gathering – Chapter 3 – 4 done, 5 & 6 started
  • Three interval workouts and two shorter workouts per week – ongoing
  • Work back into tracking exercise and consumption – ongoing
  • BONUS: Release Hangar 18: Legacy (if I get it back from the beta readers sometime this month, and depending on edits needed)
  • BONUS: Plot out and begin writing first book in new series

What are your plans for the rest of summer, whether or not you’re doing ROW80? If you’re doing this or some other kind of goal-setting, what’s your strategy to get back on track if you’re having trouble meeting all your goals?

The Voices of Angels in France

I mentioned last week that our trip to France was disappointing in a way, because there was so much we didn’t get to see, including the big attraction museums. We were in Bayeux, and didn’t even get to see the Tapestry. But when one of my coworkers asked what was the best part of the trip, that was an easy answer. It’s also why we didn’t get to see much of the touristy stuff – no regrets here!

Cathedral de la Roche in Paris

Mostly we saw cathedrals. Anyone who’s been there knows how awe-inspiring these 12th century buildings are – especially when we consider that they were built without the benefit of computers or any power tools – everything was powered by man or beast! But hearing the kids SING in the cathedrals – wow! They are a talented bunch of kids to begin with, but with the accoustics and echoey qualities of those old buildings, it was absolutely amazing! They sang at the cathedrals in Chartres, Reims, Bayeux, and Cathedral de la Roche in Paris. They also did a couple of short impromptu songs at Mont St. Michel – and the lady who led our tour there was so enthralled with the kids that she drove over an hour that evening to see their whole concert in Bayeux.

Singing at the Cathedral in Reims

Here are a couple of short videos my roommate, my daughter’s friend’s mom, shot. They’re about a minute each. Hearing it on the computer doesn’t, of course, do it justice, but it does give a taste. Sorry for the sideways orientation – my friend took the videos with her iPhone in vertical position, but none of the players I’ve found enable me to rotate them!

[FMP width=”480″ height=”272″][/FMP]


[FMP width=”480″ height=”272″][/FMP]

ROW80: Start Small for Success

I took it easy this week, goal-wise, as I didn’t have much success in the final weeks of the last ROWnd. That seems to have worked, as I met all of my goals this week, and even accelerated on a couple!

Here’s what I did:

  • Research online for short story – Done!
  • Come up with synopsis sentence for short story – Done!
  • Review How to Think Sideways exercises for ideas to work in to short story – Done! I even got some plot ideas written down.
  • Complete Get It Together Chapter 3 & 4 exercises (the authors suggest doing 1 & 2 last) – Done! I also did most of Chapter 5.
  • Three interval workouts and two shorter workouts – Done!

And here’s what I’m planning for this week:

  • Complete web design/copywriting side job I took on last month
  • Come up with 5 plot cards for short story
  • Complete Get It Together Chapter 5 – 7 exercises
  • Three interval workouts and two shorter workouts
  • Track exercise & consumption 5 days
  • BONUS: Format Time’s Two for Smashwords

Here are my goals for the quarter overall:

  • Work through Lesson 18 of How to Think Sideways Waiting to jump back into this when I get started writing the short story.
  • Release Times Two (combined ebook of Time’s Enemy and Time’s Fugitive)
  • Complete Saturn Society short story for holiday anthology I’m hoping to participate in – have summary sentence written
  • Complete Get It Together exercises and data gathering – Chapter 3 – 4 done
  • Three interval workouts and two shorter workouts per week – ongoing
  • Work back into tracking exercise and consumption – ongoing
  • BONUS: Release Hangar 18: Legacy (if I get it back from the beta readers sometime this month, and depending on edits needed)
  • BONUS: Plot out and begin writing first book in new series

What are your plans for the rest of summer, whether or not you’re doing ROW80? If you’re doing this or some other kind of goal-setting, what’s your strategy to get back on track if you’re having trouble meeting all your goals?

A Bit of America in France

As some of you may know, a couple weeks ago, I was in France, “touring” with my daughter, who’s part of the Kettering Childrens Choir.

In some ways, the trip was disappointing, as the kids’ performance and rehearsal schedule prevented us from doing many of the things one goes to France for. We didn’t have time to see the Louvre, and while some went to Versailles, they only got to spend a couple hours there. I’d been to France before, with a group in high school, so I’d seen the big attractions.

However, we did see some that I did not see when I was there before. One of those was Omaha Beach and the Normandy American Cemetery.

They did not disappoint. The travel agent told us beforehand that many of us would find it a moving experience, and she was right.

We went to Omaha Beach first, and the sight of the memorial statue where the Allied forces first landed to retake Europe from the Nazis in 1944 was breathtaking. There was something about those giant, curved wedges rising from the sand in a stark, otherwise empty beach that struck me like a punch in the gut. Although it was late June, the beach was windy as hell (probably 50mph gusts), overcast, and chilly – probably under 60 degrees. Our tour group was set up to have a picnic lunch there, but it’s hard to eat when sand’s blowing in your food and eyes. I can’t imagine what the Allied soldiers went through when they landed there, battling not only weather much worse than what we experienced, but also the threat of the Germans.

Afterward, we went to the cemetery. The size of it is staggering, and really made it hit home when we learned that almost 10,000 soldiers are buried there, plus a few support staff – including four women. Then, considering that only a fraction of the dead were buried there – many families elected to have their loved ones’ bodies sent home – and that this was only the Americans, the immense sacrifice was even more mind-boggling.

But what struck me the most was this: The French have not forgotten U.S., U.K., Canada, and other Allied forces did for Europe almost 70 years ago. After the war was over, they worked with the U.S. military to return the bodies of the Americans whose families requested it; and for those whose families decided it was more fitting that their remains stay where they’d fallen, they built the American Cemetery. Other Allied solders were buried in commonwealth cemeteries throughout the area, the answer to a very good question my daughter asked. But the French understood the importance our culture places on honoring our military, and made a special place to honor them. Today, it’s as immaculately maintained as any VA cemetery on U.S. soil, and attracts millions of visitors every year.

After our tour of the grounds, the choir performed in front of the Garden of the Missing (about 1500 soldiers whose bodies were never recovered). It was touching to see the crowds that gathered to watch them, especially the WWII vet who had tears in his eyes by the time the kids finished.


We may not have had the chance to go up in the Eiffel Tower, or see the Mona Lisa. But that windy day in Normandy, I think we saw something even more important and worthwhile. If you ever have the chance to visit northern France, I highly recommend the American Cemetery and museum.

Have you been to Omaha Beach or the American Cemetery in France, or something similar elsewhere? Whatever your nationality, what did you think? Oh, and happy belated Fourth of July!

Here’s a two-minute video about the Cemetery, if you’re interested:

ROW80: Worst-Case Planning

I didn’t even manage to make a final post for the final check-in last round; I’ll use “being in France with only occasional Internet” for my excuse reason. At any rate, trip preparations, my mind being elsewhere, and last-minute things I had to do around the house prevented me from making much progress, so my report would have been pretty much the same as the one prior.

But it’s a new round, time for new goals, and a fresh start! I’m having trouble getting back into the swing of things, even though I was only gone a week and a half, so I’m going to start out easy. In the last round, I also learned (again) that I need to limit my goals to things that are 100% in my control. My two beta readers still have Hangar 18, and I don’t want to rush them, so I’ll make that goal conditional.

I’m also adding something new, and not writing-related; I guess you could call it worst case planning. My parents are 70 and pushing-70, and my husband’s been after me for years to find out where they keep their personal papers, powers of attorney, health care wishes, etc. in the event that something happens to them and someone needs to make decisions. It’s not a pleasant topic and one that no one wants to discuss, so I keep meaning to do it if something leads in to it, but that time’s never come.

Then it occurred to me that my husband and I need to have this stuff collected together in case something happens to us. Thing is, it’s even more certain than taxes, will happen to everyone eventually, and no one knows when. So I found a book that looked like a good guide to organizing all this info and walks you through doing a little bit at a time. Baby steps! So completing those exercises will be my goal this quarter, and if I like it, I’ll suggest it to my parents when I hand my information to them.

Here are my goals for the quarter overall:

  • Work through Lesson 18 of How to Think Sideways
  • Release Times Two (combined ebook of Time’s Enemy and Time’s Fugitive)
  • Complete Saturn Society short story for holiday anthology I’m hoping to participate in – kind of scary because I haven’t written short fiction since freshman year of college, and that wasn’t very good
  • Complete Get It Together exercises and data gathering
  • Three interval workouts and two shorter workouts per week
  • Work back into tracking exercise and consumption
  • BONUS: Release Hangar 18: Legacy (if I get it back from the beta readers sometime this month, and depending on edits needed)
  • BONUS: Plot out and begin writing first book in new series

And here’s what I’ll do this week to work toward them:

  • Research online for short story
  • Come up with synopsis sentence for short story
  • Review How to Think Sideways exercises for ideas to work in to short story
  • Complete Get It Together Chapter 3 & 4 exercises (the authors suggest doing 1 & 2 last)
  • Three interval workouts and two shorter workouts

What are your plans for the rest of summer, whether or not you’re doing ROW80? Have you collected together “life plans” and info for your family?

Misfit Monday plus Excerpt: Ahead of her Time

I’m away again, so I’m going to leave you with another excerpt from Time’s Enemy. This passage takes place after Tony rescues nine-year-old Charlotte in the flood – twenty years later for her, in fact, when Tony comes to visit her as an adult in 1933.

Time's Enemy CoverTony followed her into the basement, her favorite room in the house despite its constant, damp chill. Her favorite because of the workbench that ran along an entire wall, a place she could lose herself for hours. She snapped on the two metal clip lights above her creation, a welded, metal cabinet with foil-covered panels. Tony craned his neck to study the water tanks and the pipes she’d twisted around it. “I’m experimenting with water to store the sun’s heat,” she explained.

“I’d say you’re on the right track.” She searched his face. Not a hint of the veiled reservations her brother always tried to hide when she showed him one of her projects. She seldom mentioned her work to her sister, whose usual response was to chide her for wasting time she could better spend on something constructive, like quilting or working in the garden.

Louie had gone beyond skepticism to outright derision. Among other things, it proved he wasn’t the man for her. If he hadn’t broken their engagement, she would have. Elmer’s lack of enthusiasm confirmed she’d best keep her activities to herself, should they eventually marry.

That prospect grew less likely the longer she spent with Tony. She let her eyes travel over him and remembered the bubbles of joy she’d felt when he took her arm in his on the way home from Rike’s. So different than Elmer. Tony opened the cabinet’s sealed door and ran his fingers around its smooth edges. “You might be onto something here.”

“You think so?” She clasped her hands.

“Oh yeah, this is cool.”

English: Solar oven Português: Forno solar

An actual, modern solar oven (Photo credit: Wikipedia). Read about my friend Athena Grayson’s adventures with solar cooking here.

“Cool?” Her shoulders slumped. “But it’s supposed to get hot. Or at least warm.”

He laughed, and heaviness fell over her body like a lead jacket. It was worse than Louie’s scorn. She started to turn away. “Oh, no, I mean it’s neat,” Tony said. “Good. Swell.” His face settled into a grin. “In my time, cool has another meaning besides temperature. It’s a good thing.”

Anticipation warred with unease, and she figured out why when they trudged back upstairs to start dinner.

She’d finally met a man who believed in her. Not only believed in her work, but wanted to help her. A man who could take her ideas and sell them. Do the part she hated and, she had to admit, was hampered in by the fact she was a woman. Tony could cross barriers she couldn’t. He could solicit interest in her work from men who couldn’t see the innovator beneath her feminine form.

He intrigued her, intellectually. And otherwise, she had to admit. If it weren’t for the fact that he belonged decades in the future, she’d want Tony to take her to the dance, not Elmer. Tony to be the one who spent his evenings with her. Tony who might ask her to marry him—

She couldn’t think such things. Especially about an Enemy of Time. A man she needed to convince to go to the Society House and turn himself in.

Later. First, she’d at least fix dinner. It would hardly be civil to send him to Theodore on an empty stomach.

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you! Please know that while I’m away I may not be able to reply to your comments for a while, but every one is appreciated, as are any retweets and Facebook Shares. I’ll be back soon, and will reply and visit your blog if you have one. Also, while the Booklovers’ Buffet sale is over, Time’s Enemy is still on sale for $.99 until tomorrow, so if you’re thinking about giving it a read, there’s no better time than the present. You can buy Time’s Enemy at Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Smashwords and many other online retailers. Thanks for reading!

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Guest Post: Michele Stegman on How Stories are like Gemstones

Michele Stegman

I love garnets, and I have several. Some are set in silver, but, to me, they look best in gold. Diamonds, on the other hand, look good in either white or yellow gold settings. Either way, the setting must be right to show the stone off to its best advantage.

It works the same way with the stories we write. Some stories are like diamonds and can be set just about any place or time because they are so universal. Other stories, like garnets, work best in a specific setting. Either way, the setting is going to affect the story and the characters.

Romeo and Juliet was originally set in “fair Verona,” but Bernstein made the same story work in 1950’s New York. He had drugs, gangs, and guns instead of feuding families and swords. The same story would probably work just as well in the American West with a family of cattle ranchers versus sheep ranchers. Then you would have horses and six-guns and lots of wide open spaces. But those different settings definitely affect the characters and the story.

Fortune's Foe by Michele StegmanOther stories need a very specific setting. The movie, Out of Africa, with Robert Redford and Meryl Streep would not work well in New Jersey. Not even if you change the title. Africa was too much a part of that movie and that story. Someone suggested Africa was the third character.

My story, Fortune’s Foe, had to be set in Spanish St. Augustine, Florida, in 1740. The setting, and the history, in that book are a very big part of the story. The fort, Castillo de San Marcos, Ft. Mose, the war between the English and the Spanish, the prisoners captured after James Oglethorpe’s failed siege, the runaway slaves who have found safe haven in the colony, are all part of the story. To take that setting away would collapse the story.

Mr. Right’s Baby is set in San Antonio, Texas. The hero is one quarter Comanche, works in the oil business, and lives on a ranch. I guess I could have let him live on a farm outside Cincinnati and work at P&G, but I don’t think the story would be nearly as effective–or as interesting. I think I found the perfect setting for that one.

I hope you find the perfect setting for all your stories. And when you read, pay attention to setting.

Tell me about your favorite book. How does setting affect the story and characters? Would the story work in any other setting?

Thank you, Jennette, for hosting me today.

Michele Stegman is the author of warm, sensual romances. You can find out more about her and her books at her website: You can find her books on Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, and in the iBook store.

Jennette says: Thanks for being here, Michele! I know that Time’s Enemy could not have been set anywhere besides Dayton.  Readers, what do you think? Michele and I would love to hear from you! And if you enjoy well-researched historical romance with engaging characters and chock-full of sexual tension, Fortune’s Foe is a don’t-miss! I’m going to be away from the computer for awhile, but please know that I appreciate every comment, retweet, and Facebook Share. I’ll be back to reply and visit your blog (if you have one) as soon as I can!

My Town Monday, plus Excerpt: Ohio’s Worst Natural Disaster

It happened in March, 1913. The perfect confluence of weather combined over the upper Miami Valley in west-central Ohio, and dumped massive amounts of rain on the area for several days. This was on ground already saturated from melting snows, and on Tuesday, March 25, it proved too much for the levees in Dayton. The river breached the first levee around 7 AM, and within a few hours, water 12+ feet deep covered the city. Downriver, the cities of West Carrollton, Miamisburg, Franklin, Middletown, Hamilton, and Cincinnati weren’t spared, but due to the joining of five rivers on the north side of Dayton, plus the Great Miami’s S-curve there, Dayton was the worst-hit. In terms of property damage and lives lost (anywhere from just over one hundred to four-hundred something – records were sketchy), the 1913 flood remains the worst natural disaster in Ohio’s history.

Here’s an excerpt from Time’s Enemy that shows what it might have been like that day, almost 100 years ago:

Time's Enemy Cover

An inhuman shriek jolted Tony awake. His gaze darted across sloped rafters, to the end of a long room where dim light filtered through a dusty, mud-spattered window. Church bells rang amidst the roar of hard rain, and whistles were going off everywhere, but they weren’t what woke him. He clutched the quilt. Where was he?

He sat up. Then the scream came again. Outside. It started as a loud groan, then escalated to a grating, high-pitched howl that cut to his soul.

It went on and on then faded as whatever it was passed. Tony threw off his blanket and scooted to the nearby window.

A torrent of muddy water coursed through the alley below, coming halfway up the doorway of the warehouse across the street. He’d never seen so much water where it wasn’t supposed to be. “Holy Noah’s Ark!”

He stood, then regretted it when his head smacked into a rafter. With a curse, he rubbed the sore spot as his memories of the previous day fell into place. The Saturn Society. Taylor Gressman. The wanted posters and Theodore Pippin. Goodwin’s Smoke Shop in 1913.

What had he warped into? He twisted around to search the rafters, as if answers hid in their dim recesses. The only reply was the beating rain. Then it hit him. March, 1913. He’d escaped the Saturn Society only to wind up in the middle of the worst natural disaster in Ohio’s history.

The horrible shrieks started again. He crouched and peered out the window. In the raging waters, a horse struggled to swim, its reins caught on the crossbar of a streetlamp. The yellowish-brown waters came to within a couple feet of the light globes. The horse raised its head, its lips drawn back over its teeth, and let out another ear-piercing cry. Tony cringed. A wooden crate bumped the helpless animal, knocking it free, then the current carried the crate and the horse away.

The view out the other window was much the same. A barrel floated by. Small, dark shapes clung to it. Rats.

Photo used on the cover of Time’s Enemy. Courtesy of Dayton Metro Library.

Tony leaned against the window, the glass cold against his hand and forehead, and stared in morbid fascination at the water below. The rain churned its rushing surface between pieces of broken furniture, crates and unidentifiable flotsam. Bumps and clunks came from below, probably furnishings, floating around in the shop’s lower level. He moved to the window, his fingers unable to decide whether to form fists or clutch at the window jambs. His breath formed a foggy circle on the glass. Another loud crash, then a few seconds later, a piano floated by, followed by a mass of splintered lumber that had once been a building.

The water swirled and eddied around the debris, lodging it between a telephone pole and the Smoke Shop. In the pile of wood beneath his window, a broken sign read ry’s Market. They wouldn’t be doing business any time soon.

Something moved in the wreckage. A small arm sheathed in a clinging, ruffled sleeve emerged from the water, and little fingers clutched at one of the larger pieces of wood. Slipped.

Grasped again, lost purchase.

A little girl. “Oh my God.” His voice echoed in the empty reaches of the rafters. The child groped again, failed to latch on, started to slide.

He grabbed the window sash’s blackened han-dle and pulled. Stuck tight. With a grunt he leaned upward and pulled harder. “Come on, open, dammit!” The sash didn’t move.

He could barely hear a thin, plaintive wail over the rushing water. He grabbed the sash handle, yanked upward, and this time the window obeyed.

The girl’s cry reached him again. Helplessness pinned his feet to the floor. Fear he wouldn’t reach her in time mocked him. He’d have to climb out on-to that haphazard pile of wood. One misstep could plunge him into the icy, raging current. But if he didn’t go out there, that little girl would die.

He yanked off his suit jacket. Cold as he was, it would only get in the way. “Hang on!” He climbed over the sash. She tried to grab hold of a broken timber. Missed. Then slipped into the water.

“No!” Despair stung him. The same way it had the night Bethany hadn’t come home, and a state trooper rang their doorbell. Tony had known his daughter was dead before the man said a word. “Hang on!” This little girl had a chance.

Want to read more? Time’s Enemy (e-book) is on sale for only $.99 as part of the Booklovers’ Buffet through June 22, along with over 150 other books, novellas, and short stories. You can buy Time’s Enemy at Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Smashwords and many other online retailers.

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you! I will be away from my computer today and won’t be able to respond to comments, but please know that I appreciate every comment, every re-tweet,  and every Facebook Share. I’ll reply and visit your blog, if you have one, when I can! Thanks for reading!

It’s Always Sunny in Ohio

Well, not really, as anyone who lives here will tell you. But it has been sunny all week, and that’s enough for me!

It’s sunny here on making the mundane magical, too, thanks to Debra Kristi, who last month awarded me the Sunshine Award! How cool is that? Thanks a bunch, Debra! And everyone else, if you haven’t been to Debra’s blog yet, you should check it out! Every week for Immortal Monday she gives us the lowdown on a different immortal character from mythology, movies, and/or books – I always learn something!

The rules for accepting the award are pretty simple:

  1. Include the award logo in the post.
  2. Link back and thank those that nominated me.
  3. Answer 10 random questions about myself and/or tell seven random facts.
  4. Nominate 10 other bloggers and link them to the award in their comments section.
Okay, here goes for the questions:
  1. What’s one of your favorite books from childhood? Just one? Okay, I’ll go with the first one I can remember: “The Cold-Blooded Penguin.” I blogged about it a few months ago. While it did exist as a standalone book, my copy of my favorite story was part of an anthology called Stories from Other Lands.
  2. What are you reading right now? On the treadmill and netbook, I’m reading The Ruby Brooch by Katherine Logan. Print book by my bed: Heart Change, by Robin D. Owens.
  3. Which do you prefer, Facebook or Twitter? I’m on both, and really, it depends on what I’m doing. If I’m reading the news or blogs and want to share, Twitter. If I just want to skim and catch up with what friends are doing, Facebook.
  4. Favorite thing to do in your free time? Uh… well, it’s hard to come by these days, but somehow I usually manage to make some time for computer games, especially time management games (maybe I should take a hint from that in real life? LOL).
  5. Favorite season? Spring! Everything’s new, it’s just starting to get warm, but not too warm – usually! This year, we didn’t have much of a spring, it seemed – winter went right into summer. 🙁
  6. Favorite magazine? I used to read a bunch of them before I started writing. But now, only one, so I guess that’s it: Romance Writers Report, the official magazine of Romance Writers of America.
  7. What is your favorite animal? Gerbils! Especially when I hold mine and they purr. 🙂
  8. Favorite teacher (and why)? Miss Phillips, my French teacher freshman, sophomore, and junior year, and English teacher senior year. She had a great sense of humor, and let me write papers about Rush songs.
  9. What is your favorite number? 9. Always has been. I’m not sure why.
  10. Do you prefer reading short stories or novels? Novels. I love an involved plot and really getting to know the characters.
  11. Bonus: What is your favorite flower? Either Stargazer lily or gladiolas.

And this is the point where I break the rules. Most people I know who blog have already been nominated for this or similar recently, so anyone who wants to play along, consider yourself tagged. Otherwise, maybe you’d like to answer one or more of these questions in the comments? I’d love to hear from you!

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You too can be radioactive for just $34.95!

Sometimes, if I am really bored at work, I read Amazon reviews. OK, I also read blogs. But at my primary workplace, blogs are blocked, and I get tired of reading on my smartphone. Luckily, Amazon is not blocked, and a few weeks ago, while waiting for a slow database export, I stumbled across this gem:

Uranium Ore

That’s right, real uranium ore! I found the Product Details very interesting:

Product Features

  • Radioactive Ore Sample
  • License Exempt – low radioactivity
  • Useful for testing geiger counters
  • Shipping compiles to NRC and postal regulations
  • Radioactive minerals are for educational and scientific use only.


The product had an average 3.8 stars out of five. Here’s what some users had to say. Surprisingly (or not), none were an “Amazon Verified Purchase.” Hmm….

2,640 of 2,754 people found the following review helpful

I bought this to power a home-made submarine that I use to look for prehistoric-era life forms in land-locked lakes around my home town in Alaska. At first I wasn’t sure if this item would (or could) arrive via mail, but I was glad to see it showed up with no problems. Well, almost no problems.

Unfortuantly my mom opened my mail, because she does not respect people’s privacy. She was pretty upset to see Uranium Ore. After a long argument and me running away from home again, she finaly stopped being such an idiot and I was able to get back to work.

The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! I just hope the seller does not run out, because I have many projects on my list including a night vision sasquatch radar, an electromagnetic chupakabra cage, a high velocity, aerial, weighted Mothman net and super heated, instant grill cheese sandwhich maker.

Here’s the “most helpful critical review”:

7,800 of 7,937 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Great Product, Poor Packaging, May 14, 2009
This review is from: Uranium Ore

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.

 It might even be the start of the Zombie Apocalypse:

9 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great for creating a zombie apocalypse =), November 20, 2010
This review is from: Uranium Ore

This item works great when trying to create a zombie apocalypse. I tried some on my friend (smeared a little on his big mac when he went to the bathroom) and boom! Instant zombification! Just be careful not to get any in an open cut or in your eyes, because it will turn you into a zombie really fast. My plan is to start a zombie apocalypse so that everyone will get sick and eat each others brains, leaving me the only healthy person and thus leader of the new free world! I wish amazon would ship this product in larger quantities because it would make my plan go so much faster! But at least I was eligible for free amazon prime super savings shipping!


But my favorite review of the product had been removed between the time I read it and now! Luckily, we have Google Cache!

Top Reviewer Ranking: 883,002 (Learn More) – Total Helpful Votes: 5 of 5
Uranium Ore by Images SI Inc.

Uranium Ore by Images SI Inc.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars not as advertised, by Osama Bin Laden, April 12, 2012
It’s a trap! I wanted to, uh, liberate the Americans so i bought 800 cans of this and attempted to ship it to my secret fortress in Abbottabad, Pakistan. The delivery guys showed up in a black helicopter and instead of my uranium they brought guns! Please nobody fall for the same trap i did I am stuck in my house now i can hear them shooting downstairs i am hiding here with my wife please don’t kill m-


Many reviews mentioned Back to the Future and time travel. Obviously they haven’t read my Saturn Society books! Emmett Brown wrote several reviews. I wonder how?

There actually were a few reviews that said it was good for testing one’s Geiger counter. Although I find it amusing that the shipping “compiles” instead of “complies”… must be the programmer in me. What are some of the most entertaining Amazon product reviews you’ve seen? Would you buy Uranium Ore from Amazon? Oh, and what about some of the products under “Customers who bought this also bought…” LOL!